You pushed away the very person who would do almost anything to be with you. She never asked for anything except one reason to stay, proof that you wanted her and that there would be a future for you both. Alas, you failed to provide that and now, she’s gone.
She didn’t care that you weren’t rich or that you didn’t drive a fancy car, all she wanted was to be your lady. She didn’t care that you had flaws because she had flaws of her own. Weeks of spending time together made her fall for you and yet you chose to remain blind to the fact that she chose you regardless of what her friends were saying. All she ever wanted was for you to return the love which she so freely gave to you.
All you had to do was treat her right, which you did. There was no need for diamonds and roses, candlelit dinners and expensive spoils. She was a simple girl with a big heart whose only desire was to be loved and respected. You loved the fact that you didn’t have to put in effort, you loved the fact that she chose you day after day. All she needed was for you to look at her the same way she looked at you. You became comfortable and that was your mistake. You decided to keep the walls you built around your heart up, never letting her in. You chose to keep her at arm’s length when all she did was ask that you let her in.
She gave you the key to her heart and you chose to take it without anything in return.
You loved the fact that she stayed, even when you told her to go. Truth is, you were scared. Too scared to let her in, maybe it was because you felt vulnerable, or maybe it was because you had been hurt before. Even though she showed you time and time again that she was different, you chose to paint her with the same paint brush you used to paint the women of your past.
She made you a priority when all you did was make her one of your options.
When she gave you her hand you took her arm. You prayed upon her weakness for you and you ended up taking her for granted. She stuck by your side during the darkest of days. She remained faithful to the commitment she made to you, you didn’t care though because you never committed to her. Then, one day you told her to go and she decided enough was enough, she decided to leave forever. Without any contact on all fronts.
She stopped answering your calls, she stopped going to the places you used to go to. You lost her when you decided that she wasn’t good enough and you did that by choosing yourself time and again. Your lack of appreciation and gratitude for her became apparent after she realized that she was fighting for your attention. Well done, you managed to make a woman feel the sting of loneliness whilst in your company. The thing is, no woman will ever treat you the way she did.
She was one of a kind and you chose not to see that.
Now that she’s gone, you’ll be looking for her in every other woman you come across, only thing is, you won’t find her. She was unique, not only because of who she was but because of the way she chose to love you through thick and thin.
Linda Style Diary 